14. The Princess Who Kicked Off Her Married Life by Throwing Up on Her Wedding Dress and on Her Mother in Law
Princess Augusta found herself in an entirely new environment, rushed into a marriage ceremony conducted in a language she did not understand. Understandably, she got nervous. As the groom’s mother, Queen Caroline, translated from English into German and whispered it into Augusta’s ear, the bride suddenly threw up all over her wedding gown. As her mother in law lent a hand to wipe the mess off Augusta’s dress, the nervous bride had a second bout of the heaves, and vomited all over the queen. Her marriage to Frederick, Prince of Wales, was just as awkward.
The new Princess of Wales continued to play with her dolls until her relatives finally forced her to stop. Her husband took advantage of his wife’s naivety. Among other things, he got Augusta to employ his mistress as her lady of the bedchamber, after he convinced her that rumors of an affair were fake news. There was a lot of drama between the Prince of Wales and his parents, and Augusta was often dragged unwillingly into the middle of the mess and took fire from both sides. Despite the hassles and absence of love, she nonetheless performed her expected role, and gave birth to nine royal children. However, she never got the hoped for payout of becoming queen consort. Her husband died before his father, King George II, and upon the latter’s death, the crown went to Augusta’s son, George III.
13. New Zealand’s Founder and His Scandalous Marriage
Edward Gibbon Wakefield (1796 – 1862) was a British politician who played a key role in the colonization of Australasia, and is considered to be a founder of New Zealand. He also played a role in drafting the 1839 Report on the Affairs of British North America, commonly known as the Durham Report, which had a significant impact on Canada’s history. Before that, however, Wakefield had earned a footnote in history as the criminal defendant in a scandalous case that involved the abduction of a fifteen-year-old girl.
He did not do so because of some sick infatuation or delusion of love, but because the kid was a wealthy heiress and he wanted access to her money. Wakefield had been a diplomatic courier at the tail end of the Napoleonic Wars, before he seduced a seventeen-year-old rich heiress in 1816, convinced her that he was madly in love with her, and got her to elope with him. That netted him a marriage settlement from her father worth about U$ 8 million in 2021 dollars, and established a template.
Edward Gibbon Wakefield’s rich heiress wife died soon after childbirth in 1820. Although he was now financially comfortable, Wakefield wanted more money to launch a political career. In his quest for more wealth, the widower went back to what had worked for him before: find a rich heiress, and marry her. That quest eventually led him in 1827 to Ellen Turner, the only child of a wealthy textile manufacturer. However, Ellen was only fifteen, and there was zero chance that her father would consent to the marriage. Undaunted, Wakefield hatched a plot with his brother to elope with Ellen, in the expectation that her rich parents would eventually relent and respond as his first wife’s wealthy parents had.
Accordingly, Wakefield sent a carriage to Ellen’s boarding school in Liverpool, with a message to the headmistress that stated that the girl’s mother was on death’s door, and wanted to see her daughter immediately, before she expired. Ellen was taken from her school to a hotel in Manchester, where Wakefield did not spin any tales of love or try to seduce her. Instead, he told her that her father’s business empire had collapsed, and that Mr. Turner was now a fugitive, on the run from his creditors.
11. A Marriage Scam That Worked Once, But Not Twice
Edward Gibbon Wakefield convinced the bewildered and alarmed Ellen Turner that his banker uncle had agreed to release some funds that would save her father. However, he would do so only on condition that she wed Wakefield, and her fugitive father had consented to the marriage. Ellen agreed, so Wakefield took her across the border to Scotland, where laws were less strict, and they were married by a blacksmith. When Ellen asked to see her father, Wakefield promised to make it happen, but the meetings always fell through. Eventually, he convinced her that her father had gone to France, and wanted his daughter and her husband to follow him there.
In the meantime, Wakefield had written Ellen’s father and informed him of the marriage and that he was now Mr. Turner’s son-in-law. He was disappointed in his expectation that the rich businessman would react as his first wife’s father had. Instead, Ellen’s father, who also happened to be High Sheriff of Cheshire, called in favors from the British Foreign Office. It sent a lawyer and a policeman to France, where they found Wakefield and Ellen in a Calais hotel. Ellen was returned to her father, and Wakefield and his brother were arrested, tried, convicted, and sentenced to three years’ imprisonment. The marriage was eventually annulled by Parliament.
French Queen Margaret of Valois (1553 – 1615) gained a reputation both for her licentiousness, and as the first woman in history to pen her memoirs – a vivid depiction of the turbulent France of her lifetime. She was made even more famous o or infamous – by Alexander Dumas’ portrayal of her in his historical novel, Queen Margot. She was born to King Henry II of France and his formidable wife, Catherine di Medici. As she grew up, Margaret was quite close to her brother Henry – the future King Henry III, last of the Valois monarchs. So close that rumors arose of an incestuous relationship between the siblings.
Closeness turned into lifelong hatred, however, when Margaret had an affair with an aristocrat, Henry of Guise, and her brother Henry found out. He snitched on her to the family, and Margaret’s mother and her brother, King Charles IX, beat her up, and banished Guise from court. That took place against a backdrop of serious religious tensions at the time between Catholics and Protestants. To calm troubled waters, Catherine di Medici sought to bring the Catholic Valois closer to their Bourbon relatives, a Protestant branch of the French royal family. Accordingly, Catherine arranged for Margaret to wed her Bourbon relative, the Protestant Henry of Navarre. There was no love involved, just a political alliance sealed by a marriage.
The marriage of Margaret of Valois and Henry of Navarre was solemnized at Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris on August 19th, 1572. Things went wrong from the start when the Protestant groom refused – or was not allowed – to set foot in the Catholic cathedral. So he spent the wedding day outside of Notre Dame. Things got worse for religious reconciliation five days later when the Saint Bartholomew’s Day Massacre began on August 24th, and thousands of Protestants who had travelled to Paris for the wedding were murdered by Catholic mobs.
Tens of thousands more Protestants were massacred throughout France in the following days. Henry of Navarre only survived with a promise to convert to Catholicism. He was forced to live in the French court, his movements and activities closely monitored, until he managed to flee in 1576. Margaret had nothing to do with what had been done to the Protestants, and had done much to save her husband’s life. However, after the massacre of his co-religionists and four years of captivity, Henry of Navarre had no love for Catholics, including his Catholic wife.
8. This King’s First Royal Act Was to Annul His Marriage to a Queen He Did Not Love
As soon as he regained his freedom, Henry of Navarre renounced Catholicism and joined the Protestant military forces. When Margaret of Valois’ brother Henry succeeded their sibling Charles IX to become King Henry III, her husband became next in the line for the French throne, since Henry III had no male heirs. However, the fact that Margaret’s husband was a Protestant complicated matters. Soon a three-way struggle, known as the War of the Three Henrys, erupted between Margaret’s brother King Henry III, her husband, Henry of Navarre, and her former lover, Henry of Guise.
In 1588, King Henry III had Henry of Guise assassinated, along with a brother who was a cardinal. That horrified the public, and led to a collapse of the king’s authority throughout most of France. Henry III was assassinated by a monk in 1589, and Margaret’s husband, Henry of Navarre became King Henry IV of France. The Parisians barred the Protestant monarch from the city, however. The new monarch had no love for Catholics, but to secure the throne he converted to Catholicism, this time willingly, with the cynical remark that: “Paris is well worth a Mass“. One of his first royal acts was to arrange an annulment of his marriage to Margaret of Valois.
7. Love in the Family Seriously Harmed This Star’s Career
In the long history of showbiz, few marriages have ever been as catastrophic as that of Jerry Lee Lewis (1935 – ) and Myra Gale Brown. Born and raised in Louisiana, Lewis was an early pioneer of rock and roll who began recording in 1956. The following year, he became world famous for his hit There’s a Whole Lotta Shakin’ Goin’ On. Soon thereafter came his signature song, the insta-classic Great Balls of Fire, one of Rolling Stone’s 100 Greatest Songs.
By then, Lewis had already gone through two failed marriages. He went ahead and divorced his second wife to tie the knot for a third time, after he fell head over heels in love with Myra Gale Brown. There was a hiccup, however: the object of his affections happened to be his cousin, although once removed. It was not the only problem. An even bigger hiccup was that she was thirteen-years-old, and still believed in Santa Claus on her wedding night.
All jokes about Dixie and the Deep South aside, to marry one’s cousin, or tie the knot with a thirteen-year-old girl, were not exactly commonplace in Louisiana back in those days. On the other hand, they were not considered extreme, either. So in light of that background, Jerry Lee Lewis did not think Myra Gale Brown’s age, or the fact that she was related to him, were big deals. To the extent he was worried about a potential scandal, his concerns revolved more around the timing of the wedding than the age of the bride. Lewis’ third marriage had been performed before he had finalized the divorce from his second wife.
In the meantime, Lewis’ career and popularity continued to soar, not just in the US, but around the world. So an international tour was arranged. He was warned not to take his child bride with him on his first tour to Europe, but he was blinded by love and unwilling to be separated from his child bride, and ignored the warnings. He should have listened. When he arrived in Britain in May of 1958, Lewis introduced Myra to reporters as his wife. However, he claimed that she was fifteen – which was still shockingly young.
As reporters processed the fact that Jerry Lee Lewis had wed a girl so young, his child bride made things worse when, in an attempt to defend her love, she remarked that fifteen was not too young to marry. As she explained it, in her neck of the woods: “You can marry at 10, if you can find a husband“. Once the press on both sides of the Atlantic discovered Myra’s true age was actually thirteen, the backlash was fierce. The British press was particularly vicious. It labeled Lewis a “cradle robber” and “baby snatcher”, urged a boycott of his concerts, and called for his deportation as a child molester. Tour dates were cancelled, and Lewis and Myra were forced to flee back to the US.
The scandal had crossed the Atlantic by the time the couple’s plane landed in New York, and the American press was no kinder than the British. Lewis had experienced a meteoric rise, and at the peak of his career, he rivaled Elvis Presley. It crashed and burned spectacularly, and his personal appearance fees dropped from the then princely sum of $10,000 a night to $250. He reinvented himself a decade later as a country singer, and performed for audiences less offended by performers who married child brides who also happened to be blood relatives.
The Japan Times described Kazuko Higa as “a diminutive, lantern-jawed woman who could have been charitably called handsome“. Truth be told, she did not look like Hollywood’s image of a femme fatale. However, fate and the vagaries of war cast her into that role in real life, and forced her into a series of marriages that always ended up catastrophically – especially for her husbands. It all began in June, 1944, when the US Navy sank a convoy of three Japanese supply ships off Anatahan, a small Marianas island about 75 miles north of Saipan. 36 soldiers and sailors survived and swam to Anatahan, where they were taken in by the Japanese head of a coconut plantation and his wife. Soon thereafter, American forces invaded the Marianas, seized the main islands, and bypassed smaller ones like Anahatan.
The Japanese there lacked means of communications with their chain of command, and were cutoff and effectively isolated from the outside world. Matters soon grew dire on the resource poor island, as the castaways barely managed to keep body and soul together, and had to survive on coconuts, lizards, bats, insects, taro, wild sugar cane, and any edible that they could find. Things improved somewhat in January, 1945, when a B-29 bomber, on its way back from a raid on Japan, crashed on Anatahan. The castaways scavenged the wreck, and fashioned its metal into crude instruments and useful items such as knives, pots, and roofs for their huts. Parachutes were turned into clothes, the oxygen tanks were used to store water, springs from machine guns were fashioned into fishing hooks, nylon cords were used as fishing lines, and some pistols were recovered.
Conditions remained difficult on Anatahan, but the timely crash of the B-29 saved the castaways who had faced slow starvation, until seemingly divine aid fell from the sky. In addition to the daily struggle for survival, the island’s demographics further complicated the castaways’ plight and gradually produced Lord of the Flies dynamics. Unsurprisingly, thirty men stranded for years on a small island that contained only one woman led to problematic interactions, as the men competed for her affections. Their love interest, Kazuko Higa, had arrived at the island with her husband in 1944. However, he disappeared in mysterious circumstances soon after the castaways washed ashore.
So she married a Kikuichiro Higa as protection against the other marooned men. However, one of the castaways shot and killed her new husband, only to have his own throat slit soon thereafter by yet another suitor. Over the years, Kazuko Higa became a full blown femme fatale, as she transferred her love and affections between a series of beaus. Each of them was violently assailed, chased off, or murdered, by some of the other frustrated guys. Matters were not helped when the men discovered how to ferment an intoxicating drink known as “tuba”, or coconut wine. As a result, they often drank themselves senseless into stupors that lasted for days, interspersed with bouts of alcohol-fueled rage and fights.
2. Promiscuous Marooned Guys Kept Stabbing Each Other for the Love and Affections of This Femme Fatale
By 1951, there had been twelve murders on Anatahan, in addition to numerous fights, as the men violently vied for the love and affections of the island’s only female. One of Kazuko Higa’s wooers was stabbed with a knife on thirteen separate occasions by jealous rivals, yet returned to his amorous pursuit as soon as he recovered from each failed attempt on his life. In the meantime, elsewhere in the Marianas, American authorities learned of the Japanese on Anatahan after natives from nearby islands informed the US Navy of their presence. However, the small island was off the beaten path, lacked military significance, and the Japanese marooned there posed no threat.
So the castaways were allowed to languish in isolation as the war passed them by and went on to its climactic conclusion elsewhere. After Japan surrendered, authorities remembered the castaways, so printed leaflets were airdropped on Anatahan to inform its denizens that the war was over, and direct them to surrender. However, the recipients dismissed the leaflets as propaganda, and refused to believe that their government had thrown in the towel. The island was even less important after the war than it had been while the conflict raged, and its inhabitants were just as isolated and harmless to the outside world. So American authorities did not think it was worth the trouble to send in US forces to root them out.
For years, the Anahatan castaways were left to their own devices. From time to time, an airplane would drop leaflets over the island, to tell the marooned Japanese that the war was over and that they should surrender. However, the shipwrecked soldiers and sailors continued to disbelieve the leaflets’ veracity, and thus matters continued for years. Finally, in 1950 Kazuku Higa spotted a US vessel as it passed nearby, raced to the beach, flagged it down, and asked to be taken off the island. It was only then that the authorities learned that the Japanese on Anahatan did not believe that the war was over.
Their families were contacted, and they wrote letters to their kin to assure them that it was no enemy trick, and that the war had, indeed, ended years earlier. The letters, along with an official message from the Japanese government, finally did the trick. They surrendered in 1951, and were shipped back to Japan, where their story became a sensation and resulted in numerous books, plays, and movies. The most well-known of the Anatahan castaways, Kazuku Higa, was nicknamed “The Queen Bee of Anahatan Island” by the Japanese press. She found temporary fame as a tropical temptress, sold her story to newspapers, and recounted it to packed theaters. However, after the public lost interest, she fell into prostitution and abject poverty, and eventually died at age of 51 while employed as a garbage collector.
Where Did We Find This Stuff? Some Sources and Further Reading