These People All Met a Tragic and Slightly Comedic End

8. Ungallant Behavior Leads to a Tragicomic Death

Although Zeuxis was a master of realism, he was trumped in his artistic competition with Parhassius, who invited Zeuxis to examine the competing painting. When he tried to push aside the cloth covering in order to unveil the painting, Zeuxis discovered, to his chagrin, that the “cloth” was the painting itself. A good sport, he conceded that his rival had won, stating: “I have deceived the birds, but Parhassius has deceived Zeuxis“. Centuries later, the rivalry over realism between Zeuxis and Parhassius was viewed by Renaissance painters as a challenge and a spur in their quest to surpass the ancients.

Zeuxis’ tragicomic end came because of his ungallant conduct towards a wealthy patroness. A rich elderly woman hired him to do painting of Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of procreation, pleasure, love, and beauty. However, she wanted the painting fashioned in her own likeness and proceeded to pose as the model. The jarring contrast between Aphrodite, who was supposed to be the epitome of beauty, and the wrinkled old woman wanting to pose as a model for the goddess, was too much for Zeuxis. He burst into an uncontrollable fit of laughter and kept on laughing until he dropped over, dead.

7. The Young Swiss Preaching Prodigy

Around 1794, Margaretha Peter was born into a large Swiss family, and from an early age, she displayed remarkable religious zeal. By the time she was six-years-old, Margaretha was a preaching prodigy who captivated congregations with impassioned sermons. Indeed, she sometimes demonstrated a better grasp of the Bible than many grown ministers and men of the cloth. She also had an exceptionally strong personality. That allowed her to spiritually dominate her family and neighbors, whom she turned into her disciples.

When Margaretha turned twenty, she announced that she was a prophetess, and established a small congregation in her village. She also took to wandering and preaching, gaining a reputation and following across Switzerland. In 1823, Margaretha began harping on Satan, warning her followers that he was all around them. Soon, she was experiencing prophetic visions of demons taking over the world. Then one day, she told ten devoted followers to gather weapons and pray, because the final battle between Satan and God was about to begin. What began was a tragicomic chain of events that would lead to multiple fatalities.

6. To Beat Back the Devil, This Congregation Beat Itself Black and Blue

Following Margaretha Peter’s instructions to prepare for the final battle between good and evil, her disciples gathered axes and clubs, and whatever other weapons they could get their hands on. They then barricaded themselves in a farmhouse attic. Margaretha told them that invisible demons had surrounded the house, then, as the suspense built, she shrieked that they had broken in. Her followers were so much under her control that they began to wildly swing their weapons at imaginary devils only she could see.

That went on for hours, during which they destroyed the attic. Then they descended to the ground floor and began hitting each other, on the theory that pain would ward off the demons. They kept at it, until neighbors finally called the police. They arrived to find Margaretha’s followers senseless on the floor, while she continued pummeling them. Things got more tragicomic the following day, when Margaretha told her congregation that more pain was needed to fend off the Devil. She then grabbed an iron wedge and began bludgeoning her brother, while her followers resumed beating each other up.

5. The Tragicomic Ending of a Prophetess Who Ordered Her Followers to Kill and Crucify Her

After beating up her congregation and getting them to beat themselves up, Margaretha Peter announced that her deceased mother’s ghost had ordered her to sacrifice herself. Her sister stepped up and insisted that she be sacrificed instead. Margaretha accepted and began beating her sister with an iron wedge. The rest of the congregation joined in, and soon, the sister had gone to meet her Maker. When a follower protested, Margaretha assured her that her sister would rise from the dead in three days. Margaretha then ordered her followers to crucify her. They were reluctant at first, but she assured them that she would return to life in three days.

So they made a cross, and with Margaretha urging them on, nailed her to it by her hands, elbows, feet, and breasts. She then ordered them to stab her through the heart. They tried, but couldn’t get it right. So they took a hammer and crowbar, and smashed Margaretha’s head. Then the congregation gathered around the bodies, and prayed while waiting for them to come back to life in three days. Needless to say, three days came and went, but the dead Margaretha and her dead sister stayed dead. Her disciples were tried for murder, and eleven were convicted and given prison sentences ranging from six months to sixteen years.

4. Ancient Greece’s Greatest Soothsayer

In ancient Greek mythology, Calchas was a gifted soothsayer, blessed by the god Apollo with the gift of predicting the future from the flight pattern of birds. He could else soothsay by interpreting the entrails of enemies during battle. He accompanied the Greek armies when they invaded Troy, and in the Iliad, Homer extolled his skills, stating that: “as an augur, Calchas had no rival in the camp“. Calchas played a significant role in influencing the events of the Trojan War. Before the Greeks could even reach Troy, their assembled army was stuck on a beach, prevented from sailing by contrary winds.

Calchas prophesied that the winds were sent by the god Artemis, who was angry at the Greek High King and army leader, Agamemnon. To appease Artemis, Calchas stated that Agamemnon had to sacrifice his daughter, Iphigenia. It was done, and the winds shifted, allowing the Greeks to finally sail to Troy. On another occasion during the Trojan War, the Greek armies were struck with a devastating plague and turned to Calchas for advise on how to lift it. He divined that the plague was sent by the god Apollo, who was angered by Agamemnon’s enslavement of Chryseis, daughter of a priest of Apollo. Agamemnon was forced to send Chryseis back to her father.

3. A Tragicomic Demise From Laughing Too Hard at a Rival Soothsayer’s Failed Prediction

To compensate himself for having lost Chryseis, Agamemnon seized from Achilles, a princess whom the Greek hero had captured as a war prize, Briseis. That led to a feud between king and hero that drove much of the Iliad. Calchas also endorsed Odysseus’ Trojan Horse stratagem, predicting that it would succeed in infiltrating the besieged city. Centuries later, the Romans glommed on to Calchas’ reputation and ascribed to him a prophecy foretelling that the Trojan prince Aeneas would survive the fall of Troy, then go on to lay the foundations of Rome.

The soothsayer reportedly met a tragicomic end in Magna Graecia, laughing himself to death at what he believed to be a rival soothsayer’s false prediction. Calchas had planted some grapevines, but his rival prophesied that Calchas would never drink wine produced from those grapes. The grapes ripened, however, and were made into wine. Calchas then invited the other soothsayer to the first tasting, and lifting a cup of wine made from the grapes in question, he started laughing at his rival’s failed prophecy. He ended up laughing so hard that he choked and perished by asphyxiation before he got to drink of his vines.

2. Ancient Greece’s Greatest Fighter

Pankration, which means “all force”, was an ancient Greek sport that combined wrestling and boxing. It was a no-holds-barred event, in which just about everything intended to inflict harm was allowed, except for gouging and biting, or attacking an opponent’s genitals. It is widely viewed today as the ancestor of modern Mixed Martial Arts (MMA). The ancient Greek world’s most famous pankratist was Arrhachion of Phigalia (died 564 BC), who was crowned champion of that sport in the 572 BC and 568 BC Olympiads.

He returned to the Olympics in 564 BC, seeking a threepeat a third consecutive championship. Arrhachion advanced through the early rounds and made it to the title bout. There, perhaps with age catching up with him and slowing him down, he got into trouble. His opponent outmaneuvered Arrhachion, got behind him, and with legs locked around his torso and heels digging into his groin, applied a chokehold. Arrhachion was too much of a competitor to accept defeat, however and managed to turn things around. Unfortunately, the result was his own tragicomic demise.

1. A Great Fighter’s Tragicomic Demise at the Moment of Victory

When Arrhachion of Phigalia found himself locked in a chokehold in the pankration title bout at the 564 BC Olympics, the situation seemed hopeless for him. However, the two-time returning champion was a wily competitor and had a few tricks up his sleeve. Feigning loss of consciousness, Arrhachion tricked his opponent into relaxing a little. When his opponent eased off, the wily title holder snapped back into action, and snapped his opponent’s ankle while shaking and throwing him off with a convulsive heave.

The sudden excruciating pain made his opponent do the Ancient Greek equivalent of tapping out, and he made the sign of submission to the referees. However, in throwing off his opponent while the latter still had him in a powerful chokehold, Arrhachion ended up with a broken neck. His opponent having already conceded, the dead Arrhachion’s was declared the title bout’s winner – perhaps the only time in the history of the Olympiads that a corpse was crowned an Olympic champion. He thus added a wrinkle to the athletic ideal of “victory or death” by gaining victory and death.

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Where Did We Find This Stuff? Some Sources and Further Reading

Bleacher Report – MMA History: How Pankration Champion Arrichion Won Olympic Crown After His Death

Classic Movie Hub – They Died With Their Boots On

Encyclopedia Britannica – Calchas, Greek Mythology

Encyclopedia Britannica – Pietro Aretino

Encyclopedia Britannica – Zeuxis, Greek Artist

Independent, The, October 11^th, 2011 – Actor’s Family Get Pounds 650,000 Over Fatal Stunt

Internet Movie Database – Jack Budlong

Journal of Medical Biography, Vol. 7, Issue 4, 1999 – The Death of King George II, With a Biographical Note on Dr. Frank Nicholls, Physician to the King

National Catholic Register – Saint Lawrence Laughed in the Face of Death

Providentia – The Crucifixion of Margaretta Peter

Richmond Palladium and Sun-Telegram, September 30^th, 1920 – One Year Locklear’s Limit; Daredevil is Killed in Stunt

Unbelievable Facts – 10 People Who Died From Laughing Too Hard

Wikipedia – Erfurt Latrine Disaster

Wikipedia – The Skywayman