1. From Small Things Mama, Big Things Someday Come
At dusk on September 21st, 1788, Austrian hussars came from Karansebes to scout across the Timis River. They found no Turks, but found some Gypsies, who sold the hussars enough schnapps to get them royally drunk. While they partied, the commander who had sent them out grew worried when his scouts were late in returning. So he sent some infantry across the river to check. The infantry found the hussars, and demanded a share of the schnapps. When the hussars refused, a brawl ensued, and soon escalated into an exchange of gunfire. During that fight, an infantryman decided to prank the hussars by shouting “Turci! Turci!” (“Turks! Turks!”). That panicked the drunk hussars into wild flight while screaming “Turci! Turci!“. Unfortunately, many infantrymen, unaware that the alarm was a jest by one of their own, joined the panicked flight.
In the meantime, the Austrian camp stirred uneasily at the sounds of tumult across the river. When panicked hussars and infantrymen reached the camp, shouting “Turci! Turci!“, sentries challenged them, shouting at them to “Halt! Halt!”. Some misheard the shouts as “Allah! Allah!”. In the ensuing confusion, an artillery officer concluded the camp was under attack, and ordered cannons to open fire. As soldiers woke up to the sounds of combat, startled and confused, some began firing wildly. Within minutes, the panic and wild firing spread and engulfed the camp. Soon, entire regiments were firing volleys at each other, before the entire army dissolved and scattered. Holy Roman Emperor Joseph II barely survived the rout, and someone pushed him off his horse into a creek. The Turks arrived two days later, and found up to 10,000 dead and wounded Habsburgs in the abandoned camp.