The Ugliest Royal Portraits of All Time
The Ugliest Royal Portraits of All Time

The Ugliest Royal Portraits of All Time

Alli - October 15, 2021

The Ugliest Royal Portraits of All Time
Danish Royals by Thomas Kluge. The Independent

This Trippy Collage of the Danish Royal Family

In 2013, the first portrait of the Danish Royal Family in 125 years was unveiled. But nobody expected this slightly disturbing painting. Critics went back and forth, saying it looked like a mix between a horror film advertisement and a botched Photoshop attempt. Disappointing news for the artist, Thomas Kluge, who spent four years painting Queen Margrethe and her family. But this honestly doesn’t even look like a painting. The portrait evoked an earlier piece; the last portrait of the Danish Royal Family, set in the hall of Fredensborg Palace in the mid-nineteenth century. But despite the stylistic similarities between the two—not least their realism/hyper-realism—the artist never intended for it. “I was trying to take out realistic depictions because we live in a democratic world and I think our Queen and her family are now symbolic,” Kluge explained. “This is satire.”

Well, at least we can all agree there’s little realistic about the setting. The family float in purgatorial darkness before a crumbling, century-old backdrop of the former palace. It’s the stuff of nightmares, particularly with Princess Isabella (far left) clutching a doll and doing her best demon face. At least the sittings were more fun-filled with the artist playing football with Prince Christian between sessions. Still, at least the Danish Royal Family isn’t as picky as the British. Queen Margrethe at least accepted the work (though without publically commenting as to whether she liked it or not). And Margrethe knows a thing or two about art. As well as being a full-time monarch, she’s a part-time painter: the illustrator for the Danish edition of JRR Tolkein’s “Lord of the Rings” series and a painter in her own right, with a recent exhibition in Denmark’s Museum of National Art.

Where do we find this stuff? Here are our sources:

Husburgers – Phillip IV: Spain’s Late Glory or a Slow Decline?

Wikipedia – James II of Scotland

Wikipedia – The Crown (TV series)

Wikipedia – Ferdinand VII of Spain

James VI & I – Daemonologie

Historic Royal Palaces – ANNE BOLEYN

Familypedia – Frederik VII of Denmark

Number One London – The Life & Death of Queen Caroline

History – The Wildly Different Childhoods of Elizabeth I and Mary Queen of Scots