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Rubbing It In: History’s Greatest Flexes and Ownages

Khalid Elhassan June 3, 2025 17 min

Illustration in a medieval text, depicting al-Saffah getting proclaimed as caliph. Imgur

18. The Aptly-Named “Blood Shedder”

Caliph al-Saffah, whose name means “the Blood-Shedder,” founded the Abbasid Caliphate and ruled from 750 to 754 AD. He led a revolt that violently overthrew the Umayyad Caliphate, which had ruled the Islamic world since 661 AD. The Abbasids won after a prolonged struggle that culminated in the Battle of the Zab, 750 AD, in which the Umayyads were decisively defeated.

One of the most brutal and symbolic events associated with al-Saffah’s early rule was a macabre feast held over the bodies of slain Umayyad princes. Al-Saffah had captured and executed a number Umayyads, and the survivors fled and went into hiding. So the new caliph announced an amnesty, to be marked by a feast to commemorate the conciliation. The Umayyads who showed up were seized and executed, and the other guests were invited to a banquet where tables were placed over dead Umayyads.

Written by

Khalid Elhassan

A lifelong history buff, I developed a particular passion for WW2 history as a child, when I spent hours listening to my grandfather, enraptured, as he recounted his wartime experiences in the British East African Campaign and with the British 8th Army in North Africa.

I graduated with a history BA from George Mason University, then went on to get a JD from the University of Virginia School of Law. After lawyering for a decade, I moved to sunny Rio de Janeiro and a less demanding career, opening a tourism agency in Copacabana.

A big chunk of my free time is spent blogging (you can follow me on Quora https://www.quora.com/profile/Khalid-Elhassan ) or freelance writing, mostly about my favorite subject, history.