22. President Johnson Liked to Work His Johnson Into Every Conversation
LBJ was earthy in many ways. In an alpha male ritual of primacy assertion, he obliged aides, both male and female, to take dictation as they stood in the door of his office bathroom while he urinated or defecated. Even on the floors of the House or Senate, Johnson would often rummage away extravagantly at his crotch and frequently reached through his pockets to better position “Jumbo” so its outline could show beneath his pants. He constantly tried to work “size” boasts into conversations, as a clip from the LBJ Tapes, which recorded a phone call with his tailor illustrates: “Another thing, the crotch, down where your n**s hang – it’s always a little too tight. So when you make them up, gimme an inch that I can let out there because they cut me”.
Johnson had a special nozzle installed in his White House bathroom and had it positioned so it would shoot water directly at his privates while he showered. He refused to listen to arguments from the White House staff that the installation of the special nozzle would require a great deal of plumbing work, and insisted that it be done anyhow. As President of the United States, he of course had his way. As he told the staff: “If I can move 10,000 troops in a day, you can certainly fix the bathroom any way I want it”.
