1. The Saga of Killing Michael Malloy
Doctoring Michael Malloy’s booze with antifreeze failed to do him in, so Tony Marino and his coconspirators turned to turpentine. Malloy was unfazed. So they switched to horse liniment – basically, liquid Bengay. Malloy drank it down and asked for more. They then added rat poison to the mix. Malloy’s constitution did not notice. Neither oysters soaked in wood alcohol, nor a spoiled sardines sandwich sprinkled with metal shavings did the trick. Figuring that nothing he drank or ate would kill Malloy, the conspirators decided to freeze him to death. One cold winter night, when the temperature dropped below minus 14 Fahrenheit, they waited for Malloy to pass out. When he did, they carried him to a park, dumped him in the snow, and poured 5 gallons of water on his chest to make sure he froze solid. Malloy showed up the next day for his booze on credit.
So Marino and his confederates ran him over with a taxi owned by one of the plotters. All that did was put Malloy in a hospital for three weeks with some broken bones. He reappeared at the speakeasy soon as he was discharged from the hospital. So on February 22nd, 1933, the thoroughly frazzled and exasperated conspirators stuck a gas hose in Malloy’s mouth after he passed out, and turned on the jets. That finally did the trick. The plotters collected on the insurance, but rumors of “Mike the Durable” began making the rounds. When the insurers heard the tales, they contacted police. Malloy’s body was exhumed and reexamined, and the truth came out. The plotters were tried and convicted in 1934. One got a prison sentence, while the rest, including Tony Marino, got the electric chair.
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Where Did We Find This Stuff? Some Sources & Further Reading
Airships Net – Myths About the Hindenburg Crash
Agriculture Victoria – Red Fox
Barnhart, Michael A. - Japan Prepares For Total War: The Search For Economic Security (1987)
Cracked – 5 Bonkers Supervillain Plans Real Governments Actually Tried
Diamond, Jared – Collapse: How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed (2005)
Gizmodo – The Legend of Mike ‘The Durable’ Malloy, History’s Most Stubborn Murder Victim
Iter Newsline 196, October 26th, 2011 – “Proyecto Hueumul”: The Prank That Started it All
Kershaw, Ian – Hitler 1936-1945: Nemesis (2001)
Maniates, Michael, et al – The Environmental Politics of Sacrifice (2010)
United Nations University – Our World: Systems Thinking and the Cobra Effect
