1. The Macabre End of a King
King Ethelred, the Unready’s massacre of the Danes led to an invasion by the Danish King Sweyn Forkbeard. He conquered England in 1013 and forced Ethelred to flee to Normandy. However, Sweyn died a year later, at which point Ethelred returned. He and his son Edmund, who played a key role, chased Sweyn’s son, Canute, out of England in 1014. Canute returned with a large Danish army which pillaged much of England, but Edmund mounted a fierce resistance that stymied the Dane. When Ethelred died in 1016, Edmund, by now known as “Ironside”, succeeded him on the English throne.
His reign lasted only seven months and came to a macabre end on November 30th, 1016. That night, Edmund went to the privy to answer a call of nature. Unbeknownst to him, an assassin lay in wait in the cesspit for the royal posterior to show up. When Edmund sat down to do his business, the assassin stabbed upwards with a sharp dagger, and left the weapon embedded in the king’s bowels as he made his escape. Unfortunately for Edmund Ironside, even if his sides had been made of iron, his bottom was not.
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Where Did We Find This Stuff? Some Sources and Further Reading
Africa Today, Vol. 25, No. 3 (Jul. – Sep., 1978) – The Coronation of Emperor Bokassa
Daily Beast – Was This Rockefeller Heir Eaten by Cannibals?
Encyclopedia Britannica – Dozsa Rebellion
Encyclopedia Britannica – Isadora Duncan
Encyclopedia Britannica – Lisbon Earthquake of 1755
English Monarchs – Edmund II Ironside
Hakai – The Earthquake That Brought Enlightenment
History Collection – 20 Unusual Deaths From the History Books
Madera Tribune, December 20th, 1950 – Sleepwalker Freed on Murder Charge by Australia Jury
Marley, David – Pirates of the Americas (2010)
Molnar, Miklos – A Concise History of Hungary (2001)
Pirates and Privateers – The History of Maritime Piracy: Flail of the Spaniards
Shadows and Satin – The Life and Death of Albert Dekker
Shaw, Karl – Power Mad! A Book of Deranged Dictators (2004)
Smithsonian Magazine, March, 2014 – What Really Happened to Michael Rockefeller