The Fate of the Rockefeller Scion Eaten by Cannibals and Other Macabre History

1. The Macabre End of a King

King Ethelred the Unready’s massacre of the Danes led to an invasion by the Danish King Sweyn Forkbeard. He conquered England in 1013, and forced Ethelred to flee to Normandy. However, Sweyn died a year later, at which point Ethelred returned. He and his son Edmund, who played a key role, chased Sweyn’s son, Canute, out of England in 1014. Canute returned with a large Danish army which pillaged much of England, but Edmund mounted a fierce resistance that stymied the Dane. When Ethelred died in 1016, Edmund, by now known as “Ironside”, succeeded him on the English throne.

His reign lasted only seven months, and came to a macabre end on November 30^th, 1016. That night, Edmund went to the privy to answer a call of nature. Unbeknownst to him, an assassin lay in wait in the cesspit for the royal posterior to show up. When Edmund sat down to do his business, the assassin stabbed upwards with a sharp dagger, and left the weapon embedded in the king’s bowels as he made his escape. Unfortunately for Edmund Ironside, even if his sides had been made of iron, his bottom was not.

_________________

Where Did We Find This Stuff? Some Sources and Further Reading

Africa Today, Vol. 25, No. 3 (Jul. – Sep., 1978) – The Coronation of Emperor Bokassa

All That Is Interesting – Karl Denke Not Only Ate His Victims, He Sold Them as “Pork” to Unwitting Customers

Biography – Idi Amin

Daily Beast – Was This Rockefeller Heir Eaten by Cannibals?

Encyclopedia Britannica – Dozsa Rebellion

Encyclopedia Britannica – Isadora Duncan

Encyclopedia Britannica – Lisbon Earthquake of 1755

English Monarchs – Edmund II Ironside

Hakai – The Earthquake That Brought Enlightenment

Herald Sun, January 1^st, 2014 – Night Terrors: The Sleepwalking Murder of Patricia Cogdon, From Emily Webb’s Murder in Suburbia