16. Vespasian Shuffled Off the Mortal Coil With a Joke
In the chaos following Nero’s suicide, Vespasian gathered support in the Roman east, declared himself emperor, sent his forces to Rome, and by the end of 69 AD, he had won. His rule was successful, as he restored stability and good governance, and launched a massive building and public works program. The man had a reputation for wit and amiability, and as emperor, he seldom stood on ceremony. Instead of pretentiousness, Vespasian cultivated a blunt and even coarse mannerism, and was given forthright speech. Never forgetting his origins, he resisted the temptation to put on airs – a temptation to which most Roman emperors succumbed.
One of Vespasian’s revenue-raising schemes was a tax on public urinals, which was widely ridiculed. His son and designated heir took him to task for that, arguing that it was beneath imperial dignity to collect revenue from bodily excreta. Vespasian responded by holding a coin beneath his son’s nose and asking whether he could smell any urine. He concluded the lesson by saying: “money does not smell” – which became a Latin proverb. He was witty to the literal end. Starting with Julius Caesar, who was declared a god after his assassination, Roman emperors who died in good repute were deified after death. When Vespasian was on his deathbed in 79 AD, he gave a final example of his lifelong penchant for not taking himself too seriously, and joked just before dying: “dear me, I think I am becoming a god“.
