9. Blubber Rain
A quarter mile turned out to be way too close to the explosion, as everybody and everything within half a mile of the blast got showered with rotting whale detritus. A huge piece of blubber flattened a parked car over a quarter of a mile away, while people and other vehicles were pelted by bits of a stinky whale carcass. Miraculously, nobody was seriously hurt by the tons of whale flesh hurled into the air.
When the dust settled and rotting whale stopped falling from the sky, dismayed officials discovered that while the blast had been spectacular, their idea for getting rid of the whale had turned out to be a dud: most of the carcass had not even budged. As darkness fell, Highway Division crews were back on the scene to bulldoze and bury the remains, as they probably should have done in the first place. If a whale ever washes up near Florence again, the authorities will probably not only remember what to do, but also what not to do.
