31. Things Get Worse (Part 2)
When the Rangers hit another home run, a naked man rushed the field and slid into second base. Whatever injuries and burns he got from sliding naked on the dirt are unknown, because security failed to catch him. To be fair, they probably did not try that hard: would you go out of your way to try and grapple with a drunk naked dude covered in dirt? In the meantime, the beer lines grew longer at the concession stands, and the already drunk fans soon started getting grouchy. The Indians’ management noticed the increasing belligerence of the inebriated crowd, and hit upon another idea that must have seemed brilliant to them at the time: let the fans get their beer directly from the beer trucks outside the ballpark.
The thirsty fans threw aside a picnic table as they stampeded for the beer trucks. Unfortunately, the Indians’ management had failed to beef up staffing or security for the trucks: they were overseen by two teenaged girls, who quickly fled when things went haywire. With no one to stop them, the fans treated the beer trucks like their private kegs, with some even drinking straight out of the trucks’ hoses as if they were straws. Things got rowdier yet, when a pair of drunk dudes got up on the wall, and started mooning the crowd. They loved it. And it was still just the fifth inning (for non-baseball fans, the game has nine innings). There was still a way to go before the night would be over.
