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Bonkers Crimes and Criminals In History

Khalid Elhassan February 7, 2020 32 min

Thomas Blood - Royal Academy of Arts — Colonel Blood Stealing the Crown Jewels. Royal Academy of Arts

1. Winning Over the Merry Monarch

Colonel Blood and his accomplices fled, amidst a running shootout with the guards. Eventually, he was cornered, and after a struggle, was subdued and the crown was recovered. His accomplices were also captured, and the stolen items were recovered. Unrepentant, Blood declared: “It was a gallant attempt, however unsuccessful! It was for a crown!“

Refusing to answer any questions except to the king, Blood was taken in chains to the palace. Charles II, nicknamed “The Merry Monarch“, found the audacious scoundrel appealing. Especially when Blood declared that the Crown Jewels were worth 6000 pounds at most, not 100,000 pounds as widely reported. When Charles asked, “What if I should give you your life?” Blood replied, “I would endeavor to deserve it, Sire!” The king pardoned Blood and granted him an estate worth an annual income of 500 pounds.

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Where Did We Find This Stuff? Some Sources and Further Reading

All That is Interesting – Frank Lucas and the True Story of “American Gangster”

Biography – Frank Lucas, Drug Dealer

Chicago Tribune, October 7^th, 2001 – King of the Hills

Cracked – 6 Real Crime Waves From History That Were Hilariously Insane

Cracked – 6 Totally Bonkers Criminal Plots That Actually Happened

Daily Mercury, January 15^th, 2019 – The Gang of Amputee Thugs That Terrorized Melbourne

Gizmodo – In the 18^th Century, Wig-Stealing Bandits Roamed England’s Countryside

Gizmodo – The Legend of Mike ‘The Durable’ Malloy, History’s Most Stubborn Murder Victim

Hanrahan, David C. – Colonel Blood: The Man Who Stole the Crown Jewels (2003)

Historic UK – Colonel Blood and the Theft of the Crown Jewels

Massie, Robert K. – Nicolas and Alexandra: The Fall of the Romanov Dynasty

Melbourne Historical Crime Tours – Valentine Keating and His North Melbourne Gang: The Crutchy Push

New Yorker, The, April 25^th, 2013 – Diary of the Hitler Diary Hoax

Providentia – The Crucifixion of Margaretta Peter

Smithsonian Magazine, February 7^th, 2012 – The Man Who Wouldn’t Die

Smithsonian Magazine, April 30^th, 2012 – The Case of the Sleepwalking Killer

Taylor, Troy – True Crime Illinois: The State’s Most Notorious Criminal Cases (2009)

Wikipedia – Albert Tirrell

Wikipedia – The Nun of Monza

Written by

Khalid Elhassan

A lifelong history buff, I developed a particular passion for WW2 history as a child, when I spent hours listening to my grandfather, enraptured, as he recounted his wartime experiences in the British East African Campaign and with the British 8th Army in North Africa.

I graduated with a history BA from George Mason University, then went on to get a JD from the University of Virginia School of Law. After lawyering for a decade, I moved to sunny Rio de Janeiro and a less demanding career, opening a tourism agency in Copacabana.

A big chunk of my free time is spent blogging (you can follow me on Quora https://www.quora.com/profile/Khalid-Elhassan ) or freelance writing, mostly about my favorite subject, history.