5. Jefferson’s Ginormous Moose
Among the responses from Jefferson’s friends was one from James Madison, who sent precise measurements of a Virginian weasel, including the “distance between the anus and vulva“. Like a Founding Father version of Seinfeld’s George Costanza, Jefferson grew increasingly obsessed with the need to prove Buffon wrong. So he painstakingly compiled the measurements in a table. It included comparisons such as those between 12-pound American otters versus 8.9-pound European counterparts, and 410-pound American bears versus 153.7-pound European ones. Eager to confront the Frenchman, Jefferson accepted a dinner invitation at Buffon’s home, and headed there armed with his data for a showdown, ready for a confrontation. The Frenchman diplomatically put off his prickly guest, and delayed the debate for another time. However, halfway through the dinner, somebody mentioned the North American moose.
Buffon declared that an animal of such size could not possibly exist in the continent’s poor environment. A furious Jefferson sent a flurry of letters to America, and begged that somebody, anybody, shoot the biggest moose they could find, and ship it to him in Paris. Finally, New Hampshire’s governor sent out hunters in the dead of winter to bag the biggest moose they could find. They did, then dragged it back to civilization for two weeks through heavy snow. A taxidermist stuffed it, before it was shipped to France. However, the taxidermist was incompetent, and the moose arrived in Paris in 1787 as a putrid mess. A triumphant Jefferson immediately sent the fetid carcass to Buffon, with a letter that told him to picture it with more fur and antlers. Unfortunately, Jefferson never got a retraction from Buffon: the Count died before he could publicly disavow his claims.
