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The Dumbest Get-Rich-Quick Schemes in History

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A Tireless Quest for Glory

Colorized reproductions of the First Triumvirate, left to right, Crassus, Caesar, and Pompey. PBS

By the 70s BC, Crassus had cemented his place as the Roman Republic’s richest man. He leveraged his wealth into political power, and sponsored politicians such as Julius Caesar, whose political rise he financed. Eventually, Crassus entered into a power sharing agreement with Caesar and Pompey the Great. Known as “The First Triumvirate”, the agreement divided the Roman Republic between the trio. However, the one thing Crassus wanted that his fellow Triumvirs had, but he did not, was military glory. Unlike Pompey’s and Caesar’s brilliant military records, Crassus’ only military accomplishment had been to crush Spartacus’ slave uprising, and that did not count for much in Roman eyes.

His quest for military glory led him to an ignominious end and a final oops moment. To get himself some such glory, Crassus led an army of 50,000 to invade Parthia, a wealthy kingdom whose territory spanned today’s Iraq and Iran. He trusted a local chieftain to guide him, but the guide was in Parthian pay. He led Crassus along an arid route, until, hot and thirsty, the Romans reached Carrhae in today’s Turkey. There, Crasus and his army encountered a Parthian force of 9000 horse archers and 1000 armored cataphract heavy cavalry.

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A lifelong history buff, I developed a particular passion for WW2 history as a child, when I spent hours listening to my grandfather, enraptured, as he recounted his wartime experiences in the British East African Campaign and with the British 8th Army in North Africa.

I graduated with a history BA from George Mason University, then went on to get a JD from the University of Virginia School of Law. After lawyering for a decade, I moved to sunny Rio de Janeiro and a less demanding career, opening a tourism agency in Copacabana.

A big chunk of my free time is spent blogging (you can follow me on Quora https://www.quora.com/profile/Khalid-Elhassan ) or freelance writing, mostly about my favorite subject, history.

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