The Crazy Plan to Stop Earth's Rotation and Other Bonkers Schemes
The Crazy Plan to Stop Earth’s Rotation and Other Bonkers Schemes

The Crazy Plan to Stop Earth’s Rotation and Other Bonkers Schemes

Khalid Elhassan - April 29, 2021

The Crazy Plan to Stop Earth’s Rotation and Other Bonkers Schemes
King Alexander of Greece and his wife, Aspasia Manos. Wikimedia

2. An Unfortunate Brawl With a Barbary Macaque Monkey

The Great Greece plan consisted of expanding the kingdom to encompass all the lands that had once been inhabited by Greeks, going back millennia. The expansion was to come at the expense of the defeated Ottoman Empire, which had been reduced to a rump that is now Turkey. So in 1919, with tacit French and British support, King Alexander ordered an invasion of Turkey, to seize the Ionian coast. Then a monkey intervened, and ensured that the king never got to see the end of that adventure.

The Crazy Plan to Stop Earth’s Rotation and Other Bonkers Schemes
Barbary macaque monkeys. Julia Mathewson

It began with a visit to the Royal Gardens on September 30th, 1920. While strolling with his German Shepherd, Fritz, king and canine came across a Barbary macaque monkey. The dog attacked the monkey, which fought back. The king rushed forward to separate the brawling animals, but unbeknownst to him, the monkey had friends. Another monkey arrived at the scene, and seeing what appeared to be the king and a dog ganging up on his pal, joined the fray. He fell upon Alexander, and bit his leg and upper body several times.

The Crazy Plan to Stop Earth’s Rotation and Other Bonkers Schemes
Turkish propaganda poster, depicting the expulsion of Greeks from Anatolia. Pintrest

1. History’s Most Significant Monkey Attack

King Alexander’s entourage heard the commotion, rushed to his aid, and chased the monkeys away. By then, the damage had already been done. The monkey bites became inflamed, and the king developed a serious infection. Doctors debated amputation of the leg, but none of them wanted to take responsibility, so it was left until it was too late. By the time amputation was considered once again, the infection had spread into the body. King Alexander died of sepsis three weeks after the animal fight, at age 27. Those monkey bites had far reaching consequences.

The Crazy Plan to Stop Earth’s Rotation and Other Bonkers Schemes
A Barbary macaque monkey. People Magazine

Alexander’s death resulted in the restoration of his deposed father. The restored king disliked the military, who had supported his deposition. So he drastically cut and reorganized the armed forces, and engineered the ouster of the pro Entente Premier Venizelos. That caused the French and British to question Greek commitment to the campaign in Turkey. As a result, they made their own deals with a resurgent Turkey. Between that and military turmoil, the Greek invasion of Turkey ended in a humiliating disaster and defeat. Crazy as it sounds, modern Greece and Turkey exist as they do today because a king and his dog picked the wrong monkey to mess with.

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Where Did We Find This Stuff? Some Sources and Further Reading

All That is Interesting – Newly Declassified Documents Reveal That a Top US General Planned For Nuclear Attack During the Vietnam War

Amusing Planet – Franz Reichelt’s Fatal Jump

Atlas Obscura – The 1962 Laughter Epidemic of Tanganyika Was No Joke

Beschloss, Michael – Presidents of War (2018)

Boing Boing – US Air Force Proposal: Pause the Earth’s Rotation So Nukes Would Miss Targets

Cracked – America Wanted to Stop the Earth’s Rotation to Trick Soviet Nukes

Ellsberg, Daniel – The Doomsday Machine: Confessions of a Nuclear War Planner (2017)

Encyclopedia Britannica – Marquis de Sade

History Collection – Weird Historic Events That Would Break the Internet

Lely, Gilbert – The Marquis de Sade, a Biography (1961)

Mad Monarchs – Farouk of Egypt

New York Times, October 6th, 2018 – US General Considered Nuclear Response in Vietnam, Cables Show

Seattle Times, October 6th, 2018 – Cables Show US Was Close to Adding Nuclear Weapons to Vietnam War

War History Online – Crazy: General Westmoreland Initiated Plan to Use Nukes in Vietnam

We Are the Mighty – America Wanted to Stop Earth’s Rotation During Cold War

Wikipedia – Alexander of Greece

Wikipedia – Davy Crockett (Nuclear Device)

Wikipedia – Farouk of Egypt

Wired – Fantastically Wrong: Magellan’s Strange Encounter With the 10-Foot Giants of Patagonia

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