Einstein’s Written Demands and 18 Other Interesting Lists Made by Historical Figures

18. Houdini’s Set and Prop List, Part 1

Harry Houdini is one of the most famous magicians and stunt artists in history. His death-defying feats included being buried alive, locked in chains and manacles, and a terrifying water cell escape of his own design, the Chinese water torture cell. Unsurprisingly, his skills generated immense popularity, and he spent 14 years traveling the world performing his stunts. Much like any artist, he had a prop and scene list that was given to venues ahead of his performances to ensure he had all of the materials necessary to perform his feats.

Unlike many of the hilariously over-the-top new celebrity riders that demand no eye contact, specific colors of candy, and more, Houdini’s list was matter-of-fact and straightforward. It listed the time of his act as about 25 minutes. His only personal requirement was two dressing rooms nearest the stage, as he left his performances soaking wet due to the water torture cell being his grand finale. It stated that he had six people in his company. His only demand for the dressing room was the presence of a couch. Pretty simple stuff for a world-renowned master illusionist!

The vast majority of the list is technical specifications for apparatus the stage required to small pieces of furniture or props needed for various feats.

17. Houdini’s Set and Prop List, Part 2

The bulk of Houdini’s prop list consists of demands for specific items for his act. It asks for a staircase to allow audience members to approach the stage, eighteen chairs, two tables, and a strong batten for flying his water carpet to dry it out after the performance. Interestingly, it also requires precise measurements of lumber. It asks for two 20′ pieces and two 16′ pieces, both of which must be 4″ by 2″. If such pieces are required every night, it’s curious that Houdini’s tour group didn’t just bring them themselves. Perhaps they were destroyed during the performance.

By far the most intriguing item on the list is the 100 gallons of boiling water requested. It even goes on to specify that the water must be boiling. It further stipulates that four brass tubes that they will supply will hold that water during the performance, but that staffers of the theater must fill them.

When one considers the difficulty and danger inherent in Houdini’s various feats, it’s actually quite surprising that he trusted each venue with so many of the preparations. The idea of letting a stranger prepare 100 gallons of boiling water for anything to do with my person is quite terrifying. Houdini must have been very confident in his abilities!

16. “Frankly, My Dear, I don’t give a ____,” Part 1

One of the most iconic lines in American cinema is Clark Gable, as Rhett Butler, saying “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn” as he turns away from Scarlett O’Hara, played by Vivien Leigh. What isn’t as well-known is the fact that the famous line was almost cut from the film due to a decision from censors that the word “damn” was too offensive to appear in the film. The film’s writers quickly scrambled to come up with an appropriately acerbic replacement, many of which are documented on a typed list from the film’s set.

Perhaps the most hilarious of the proposed replacements is “Frankly, my dear, I’m not even indifferent — I just don’t care.” This one is a real head-scratcher, given that the definition of indifferent is literally not caring. It’s hard to say whether one of the writers intended irony in the biting remark, or perhaps they found personal shades of meaning between the two terms.
The suggested replacements of “it makes my gorge rise” and “it is a stench in my nostrils” are two particularly evocative options. However, given that his “frankly, my dear” remark is in response to the questions “Where shall I go? What shall I do?” neither response makes a great deal of sense in context, despite their humorous descriptiveness.

15. “Frankly, My Dear, I don’t give a ____,” Part 2

It appears the Motion Picture Association’s Production Code had a fair bit of inconsistency. Two of the recommended replacements contained “Frankly, my dear, you can go to the devil” with alternate endings of “for all of me” and “for all I care.” It is rather curious that “damn” should be such an issue, but literally telling someone to go to the devil (the actual meaning of damn) was perfectly fine. A third choice was “the devil may care — I don’t!.” Their objection was simply to the “cuss” of damn, and not the actual threat or discussion of eternal damnation and the devil himself.

By far, the most common theme of the suggest replacement carried the same tone of the original – just not caring. There are numerous variations, including not giving a hoot or whoop, both of which would have dated the film horribly to modern ears. An especially dated reference was the phrase “I don’t give a Continental,” referring to the usefulness of the Continental currency that was briefly printed during the American Revolution. However, given the story was set during the American Civil War, a cultural reference to the Revolutionary War may have added an interesting note to the film.

Thankfully, perhaps inspired by the awfulness of many of the corny substitutes, the Motion Picture Association amended their production code in time for the original, iconic line to be included in the film. The line has gone on to be paid homage or parodied in countless movies and television shows and is an ingrained part of the American cultural lexicon.

14. The Creation of Basketball, Part 1

James Naismith invented the game of basketball in 1891 while serving as an athletic teacher at a YMCA in Springfield, Massachusettes. He had been given 14 days by YMCA administrators to make a safe and fun game to entertain children bored and rowdy by being pent up during the frigid Massachusettes winters. Naismith, originally from Canada, was a poor student but gifted athlete who spent his youth engaging in numerous sports and games. With memories of overhand, lobbing throws from childhood stone games in his mind, he settled down and typed up two pages containing a thirteen-point list of rules for a game he called “basket ball.”

Naismith’s idea was to have a safe game for indoor play, as he’d seen many injuries from rough indoor play with games that involved dribbling, running or physical contact. Thus, the original rules of basketball did not allow dribbling. Players could only pass the ball between each other. The original rules also had three hoops at each end of the court, more akin to Quidditch, for those familiar with Harry Potter, than modern basketball. The baskets also did not have nets, so the ball would have to be retrieved from one of the six baskets after each score.

13. The Creation of Basketball, Part 2

Naismith’s game was quite popular, and in 1898, only seven years after he created the rules, he was hired by the University of Kansas to coach a basketball program. At the time, the game had been introduced throughout the network of American YMCAs and was growing in popularity. The majority of the team’s early games were played against YMCA locations, not other colleges. However, by the start of the 20th-century basketball had become popular enough that colleges across the country adopted it and began playing against each other.

A modest man, Naismith rejected early attempts to call basketball “Naismith ball” preferring to stick with his original name, although with the space removed, of basket ball. In 2004, Naismith’s original typed rules were sold at a Sotheby’s auction for over $4 million, with the winners donating the item to the University of Kansas for historical preservation.

Growing from the humble origins of 13 points of rules, the modern standards for basketball are now over 80 pages and include many elements that deviate from Naismith’s original, including dribbling which he intentionally omitted due to the perception it would cause injury when played indoors by rowdy kids. Basketball is now one of the most popularly played sports worldwide.

12. Johnny Cash’s Checklist, Part 1

It’s hard to think of Johnny Cash without his rebellious persona, all-black attire, drug abuse, and political activist all coming to mind. It’s much harder to think of a legend like Johnny Cash writing a to-do list that includes the item “pee.” However, thanks to someone preserving it, we now know that he did, in fact, write just such a list with “pee” at number 5, immediately behind “cough” at number 4.

In a much more beautiful entry, Cash wrote “Kiss June” for number 2, June being his wife June Carter Cash. The pair were well known to be immensely fond of each other, being married for over 35 years. Cash often wrote June love letters and notes during their marriage, and even in a to-do list, he couldn’t resist mentioning her. Cash reportedly said that music was his only reason to keep on living after June died, and he passed away himself only four months after death.

His sense of humor re-appeared on the very next line of the list with “Not kiss anyone else” at number 3. The tongue-in-cheek humor of the two lines clearly shows the warm and trusting relationship the two had.

11. Johnny Cash’s Checklist, Part 2

While many of the entries on Cash’s to-do list were comical, such as number 6 “eat” followed by number 7’s “not eat too much,” other entries showed a more serious and emotional side to the famous musician. The very first entry on the list is “not smoke,” which must have been difficult for Cash, who struggled with alcohol and drug abuse for most of his life. Amphetamines, in particular, were a struggle of Cash’s with his wife often hiding or flushing his pills down the toilet.

Number 8 on his list, worry, is perhaps a joke but could also show insight into his mental state, especially if he was attempting to stop smoking or possibly even attempting to get clean during the period in which the note was written. Coming off of stimulants like amphetamines and nicotine can cause a great deal of stress and anxiety.

The last two items on the list, “Go see mama” and “practice piano” are almost childlike in their sweetness and innocence. It’s hard to picture the man in black going to visit an elderly mother and then settling down to practice his piano like a good young choir boy. Unable to resist one last joke, Cash filled in the Notes section of his piece of paper with “not write notes.”

10. Charles Darwin’s Doubts, Part 1

Before being known as the father of the theory of evolution, Charles Darwin was on his way to becoming an Anglican parson, at the urging of his father. His father had initially wanted young Charles to become a doctor, but he neglected his studies and found medicine distressing. After graduating college in the course of study in natural history, Darwin was offered a space on the two-year expedition of the HMS Beagle as a captain’s companion and naturalist. Darwin’s father strongly objected to this plan and thought the two-year trip would be a waste of time that would damage Charles’ career path as a parson.

Being ever bright, Darwin wrote to his favorite uncle, and his father’s brother, laying out the numerous negative points about the journey that his father had raised, many of them quite unkind towards the young Charles. His father’s chief complaint, taking first place on the list, was that such an undertaking would be “disreputable” to his position as a clergyman after the fact. At the time, ideas of evolution were extraordinarily controversial and viewed as contrary to the teachings of Christianity. Working as a naturalist, in his father’s view, would connect him to that movement and weaken his chances at rising within the Anglican church.

9. Charles Darwin’s Doubts, Part 2

Robert Darwin, Charles’ father, must have had little faith in his son’s abilities. In addition to calling the voyage of the HMS Beagle a “wild scheme,” he also assumed, according to his son’s letter to his brother, that they must have offered countless other people the position of naturalist before providing it to his son. This was a rather unkind assumption, as Charles had joined several societies of naturalists while at Cambridge, and did very well on his final examinations before graduating.

Robert further assumed that given so many people must have turned it down for them to resort to asking his son, something must have been fundamentally wrong with the vessel or the expedition. After these chief complaints, his other issues were the belief that his son would never settle down to a normal life after two years of travel, that the accommodations would be uncomfortable (Robert was a wealthy man and used to luxury), that it would be another career change for the young Charles, and that it would be “a useless undertaking.”
Thankfully, Darwin’s cheek paid off, and his uncle intervened on his behalf. His father being resigned to acceptance, Darwin embarked on the journey to the Galapagos Islands, and the rest is (natural) history.

8. John Lennon’s Mad Libs, Part 1

John Lennon is as famous as he is controversial. He is much beloved for being, in some fans’eyes, the most talented of The Beatles. Lennon is also renowned and revered by many for being an anti-war activist who preached giving peace a chance. Despite his promotion of peace regarding war, he is equally well known for his domestic and parental abuse, being publicly criticized by his son Julian for showing no love to him or his mother as a child. Lennon even wrote about his own abusive past, penning “I used to be cruel to my woman, I beat her and kept her apart from the things that she loved” as part of the hit song “Getting Better.”

Lennon was also known for a contentious relationship with the media. He was widely quoted and torn apart by the media for saying that The Beatles were more famous than Jesus. His involvement and activism with Yoko Ono were also widely criticized. He wrote of the press in “The Ballad of John and Yoko” saying “the way things are going they’re gonna crucify me.” With his relative antagonism with the media, it is all the more surprising that, in 1976, he returned a young fan’s mail in which he had sent a mad-libs like form with word association for Lennon to complete.

7. John Lennon’s Mad Libs, Part 2

In the returned fan mail, Lennon filled out all twelve-word association exercises as well as responding to the question “Is there any advise that you can give the teenagers of today?” with an extremely cheeky “grow up!” His word association answers contain some pretty humorous and insightful commentary:

New York: great
Elvis: fat
Ringo: friend
Yoko: love
Howard Cosell: ham
George: lost
Bootlegs: good
Elton: nice
Paul: extraordinary
Bowie: thin
M.B.E.: shit
JOHN: great

Lennon’s reference to Elvis as fat and Howard Cosell as a ham are both quite funny. Referring to M.B.E., which is the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire, an order of chivalry afforded to distinguished British citizens, says a great deal about his political views.

It is his commentary on the other members of The Beatles that is most poignant. Given the rancorous history of the break up of the band, it’s quite touching to see him refer to Paul McCartney as extraordinary and Ringo Starr as a friend. On the other hand, it’s sad to see him call George Harrison lost, which shows their feud, rumored to stem from jealousy, must have continued long after the break-up of the band.

6. Einstein’s Demands, Part 1

Einstein is, without a doubt, one of the greatest minds of the 20th century. Unfortunately, he was far less illustrious as a husband to his first wife, mathematician Mileva Marić. Einstein moved Marić and their children, against her wishes, to Berlin where he became reacquainted with his first cousin, Elena, whom he would eventually marry after Marić divorced him. There continues to be debate over whether or not Marić helped Einstein in his work, being a gifted mathematician herself. Their son asserts that Marić gave up her mathematical ambitions after marrying Einstein, while others argue Einstein didn’t credit her work.

In 1914, Einstein and Marić’ marriage was falling apart. They had been married for 11 years but were not happy together, especially after the move to Berlin where Marić felt depressed and alone. Einstein made a rather callous proposal that year: that they stay married for the sake of their children, but only if she agreed to a onerously long list of demands written by Einstein. Perhaps it wasn’t apparent at the turn of the 20th century, but any marriage that involves a list of written requests is bound to end very badly, and “staying together for the kids” is rarely a good idea either. Ironic that two brilliant mathematical minds would have undertaken such a poorly thought out scheme.

5. Einstein’s Demands, Part 2

Einstein’s list of demands for Marić was written in German but is translated below.

Conditions.

A. You will make sure
1. that my clothes and laundry are kept in good order;
2. that I will receive my three meals regularly in my room;
3. that my bedroom and study are kept neat, and especially that my desk is left for my use only.
B. You will renounce all personal relations with me insofar as they are not completely necessary for social reasons. Specifically, you will forgo
1. my sitting at home with you;
2. my going out or travelling with you.
C. You will obey the following points in your relations with me:
1. you will not expect any intimacy from me, nor will you reproach me in any way;
2. you will stop talking to me if I request it;
3. you will leave my bedroom or study immediately without protest if I request it.
D. You will undertake not to belittle me in front of our children, either through words or behaviour.

One can quickly see that Einstein viewed Marić as a servant, not a spouse. She was to clean his room, do his laundry, and provide his meals without asking anything of him, criticizing him or even speaking to him if he said not to. Small wonder that she divorced him soon after and took their children with her. Einstein may have been a phenomenal genius, but he was a pretty poor husband.

3. Galileo’s Shopping List, Part 1

If there were ever a famous figure from whom I’d never have expected to see a mundane shopping list, medieval astronomer Galileo Galilei would be pretty high up the list. One doesn’t picture the father of physics and astronomy sitting back and pondering what he needed at the market. Surely he would have had servants or assistants to do his shopping. If not, it’s even more impressive that he accomplished as much as he did while taking care of himself!

This list, while mostly mundane, is written on the back of a letter, dated 1609, does contain elements needed for improvements to his invention of the telescope. While he debuted his first telescope, based merely on descriptions of Hans Lippershey’s prototype, in 1609, it wasn’t until 1610 that he improved the model to the point that he was able to announce the discovery of Jupiter’s moons through the lens.

The most noteworthy items on the list, as it pertains to the telescope, are polished German lenses, polished rock crystal, pieces of mirror, and small iron tuning chisels which he specified needed to be made in the Calle delle Acque, which must have been where his preferred blacksmith in Florence resided.

3. Galileo’s Shopping List, Part 2

While Galileo’s shopping list bears some interest for its relevance to the 1609 workings of his telescope prototypes, the other items give a fascinating window into his personal life. The first item of the list is “shoes and hat for Vicenzo.” One wonders who Vicenzo might have been. His father was named Vicenzo, but died in 1591 well before the list was written. The second line includes a “case of wares for Marina.” This item is considerably more precise, as Marina Gamba is the mistress who bore Galileo’s illegitimate children. It would be fascinating to know what the wares were; perhaps fabric or some luxury beauty item.

In addition to gifts for lovers and perhaps friends, it includes several staple food items as well as some more luxurious food products including spices. Lentils, white chickpeas, rice, raisins and spelt all appear on the list, along with sugar, pepper, cloves, cinnamon, spices, jam, and oranges. It would seem Galileo was able to enjoy a healthy and flavorful diet. Other commonplace items include wool and soap. Clearly, in addition to significant things like German lenses, Galileo also managed enough of his own household to know when he needed food and cleaning products. The father of astronomy was an all-together organized man!

2. The Fake Books of Charles Dickens, Part 1

While many of the lists on this list of records contain some humorous points, no list is sillier than Charles Dickens’ list of fake books. Despite being an author himself, when he moved his family into their new home at Tavistock House in London and found the place short of printed books he decided to have covers for fake books published, rather than buying actual texts from the printer. The bookbinder, Thomas Robert Eeles, must have had quite a bit of fun with the project, especially since several of the titles are quite funny with a couple even being a bit bawdy by the standards of the era.

The irreverent nature of many of the titles is especially odd given Dickens’ propensity for writing rather serious books about poverty and want. It’s a strange leap for the author of Oliver Twist and Bleak House, with their brutal depictions of London’s underclass and the horrible treatment of orphans, to have a display of Toots’ Universal Letter-Writer, which was deserving of two volumes!

Other notable titles, although all of them are fantastic, are Bowwowdowm. A Poem, which this author genuinely hopes was intended to be a tribute to dogs. The Art of Cutting Teeth surely resided in a place of majesty among his shelves, perhaps next to A Christmas Carol. A Tale of Two Cities was also doubtlessly kept company by Paxton’s Bloomers, which were so noteworthy no less than five volumes covered them.

1. The Fake Books of Charles Dickens, Part 2

The list of Dickens’ fake books is too charming not to share in its entirety. One can imagine many witty conversations were prompted by visitors strolling along Dickens’ shelves and noticing the wonderfully bizarre titles.

History of a Short Chancery Suit
Catalogue of Statues of the Duke of Wellington
Five Minutes in China. 3 vols.
Forty Winks at the Pyramids. 2 vols.
Abernethy on the Constitution. 2 vols.
Mr. Green’s Overland Mail. 2 vols.
Captain Cook’s Life of Savage. 2 vols.
A Carpenter’s Bench of Bishops. 2 vols.
Toots’ Universal Letter-Writer. 2 vols.
Orson’s Art of Etiquette.
Downeaster’s Complete Calculator.
History of the Middling Ages. 6 vols.
Jonah’s Account of the Whale.
Captain Parry’s Virtues of Cold Tar.
Kant’s Ancient Humbugs. 10 vols.
Bowwowdom. A Poem.
The Quarrelly Review. 4 vols.
The Gunpowder Magazine. 4 vols.
Steele. By the Author of “Ion”.
The Art of Cutting Teeth.
Matthew’s Nursery Songs. 2 vols.
Paxton’s Bloomers. 5 vols.
On the Use of Mercury by the Ancient Poets.
Drowsy’s Recollections of Nothing. 3 vols.
Heavyside’s Conversations with Nobody. 3 vols.
Commonplace Book of the Oldest Inhabitant. 2 vols.
Growler’s Gruffiology, with Appendix. 4 vols.
The Books of Moses and Sons. 2 vols.
Burke (of Edinburgh) on the Sublime and
Beautiful. 2 vols.
Teazer’s Commentaries.
King Henry the Eighth’s Evidences of Christianity. 5 vols.
Miss Biffin on Deportment.
Morrison’s Pills Progress. 2 vols.
Lady Godiva on the Horse.
Munchausen’s Modern Miracles. 4 vols.
Richardson’s Show of Dramatic Literature. 12 vols.
Hansard’s Guide to Refreshing Sleep. As many volumes as possible.

Where did we find this stuff? Here are our sources:

“The world’s most intriguing lists” Shaun Usher, Telegraph UK. September 2014.

“History of Basketball” George Laughead, Kansas Heritage. November 2017.

“Galileo Galilei.” Wikipedia contributors. Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. November 2018.

“Charles Darwin.” Wikipedia contributors. Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. November 2018.

“Johnny Cash, Country Music Bedrock, Dies at 71” Stephen Holden, New York Times. September 2003.