Despite Your Love for Stranger Things, the '80s Actually Sucked, Here's Why
Despite Your Love for Stranger Things, the ’80s Actually Sucked, Here’s Why

Despite Your Love for Stranger Things, the ’80s Actually Sucked, Here’s Why

Trista - September 16, 2019

Despite Your Love for Stranger Things, the ’80s Actually Sucked, Here’s Why
If your family had this computer, you were living large. Photo: workdesign.com

29. Technology Was Slow And Super Expensive

A full decade before computers could be found in most homes, purchasing a PC could quickly run you $4000 or $5000. Also, those PCs couldn’t do very much. They usually ran on DOS, a system that required you to type in coded commands to access any of the programs on the computer.

You may laugh at the cell phones that people had in the 90s, but they were nonexistent in the 80s. If you wanted to talk to someone who lived in another city, you had to pay long-distance charges. And of course, widespread public access to the Internet was a decade away.

Despite Your Love for Stranger Things, the ’80s Actually Sucked, Here’s Why
These things didn’t leave much room for privacy. Photo: Homedepot.com

30. Corded Phones Were Fun to Play With, But Not Talk On

It’s an upgrade from the rotary phone, right? For the uninitiated, corded phones were screwed into the wall. The receiver was bound to the telephone box with a cord, so you couldn’t go very far to talk to people. So if you wanted to talk with your boyfriend or girlfriend without your family listening in, your best bet was to go into the hallway closet and hope no one was tuning into the conversation.

The cord was fun to wrap around your finger, but that is about it. Oh, and banging the receiver as you hang up was certainly satisfying. However, there was also no caller ID, so you had no idea who was calling, and again, no privacy ever.

Despite Your Love for Stranger Things, the ’80s Actually Sucked, Here’s Why
Crimped hair, 80s style. Photo: hair.lovetoknow.com

31. You Burned Your Hair While Styling It

Girls who grew up in the 80s damaged their hair so severely that they didn’t recover until the 90s. After spraying it down with copious amounts of AquaNet before running a crimper through it, you could literally hear your hair sizzle.

For those who don’t know, a crimper is like a hair straightener, except it makes your hair look like you just took out hundreds of minuscule little braids. Those things were heated to upwards of 400 degrees before you ran them through your hair. However, the result was (not) worth it: sky-high bangs and hair fluffier than a sheep’s.

Despite Your Love for Stranger Things, the ’80s Actually Sucked, Here’s Why
This movie was all-around terrible for kids. Photo: wikifur.com

32. Disney Looked At Things Differently

Disney’s golden age of animation was the 1990s when animators produced classics like The Lion King and Beauty and the Beast. Disney movies from the decade before are the ones that keep popping up in Netflix feeds because they aren’t worth anything.

Consider The Secret Of NIMH, a modern fable about the National Institute of Mental Health. Then there are the atrocities of All Dogs Go To Heaven, An American Tail, and The Land Before Time (the original one, not the franchise that came after the golden age). Plenty of parents today wouldn’t consider showing those movies to their kids.

Despite Your Love for Stranger Things, the ’80s Actually Sucked, Here’s Why
Latchkey kids came home to an empty house. Photo: theparentreport.com

33. There Were Latchkey Kids

Kids in the 80s were pretty much forgotten by their parents. Even the name that was given to that decade – Generation X – suggests that nobody knows what to do with them. The epitome of this paradigm is the latchkey kids, who carried their keys on a necklace so that when they got home to an empty house after school, they could let themselves in.

Today, parents could lose custody of their kids for the neglect that was so common in the 80s. However, both parents worked, because the economy was tanking and no one had any money, and they didn’t know what to do with the kids anyway.

Despite Your Love for Stranger Things, the ’80s Actually Sucked, Here’s Why
Imagine starting your day by being reminded of how quickly you could go missing. Photo: thestar.com

34. Missing Kids Were On The Milk Cartons

Have you heard stories about how kids who were missing were featured on the side of milk cartons? Those stories are true. Which means that if you were a kid in the 80s, pouring milk over your cereal or drinking a carton of milk with your lunch would leave you with a reminder that you weren’t safe.

The black-and-white photos of missing kids started showing up on milk cartons in 1982 because parents were so desperate to find their children that they wanted to put the message out everywhere they could. However, even though the intention was undoubtedly noble, the effect it left on kids was a bit deleterious.

 

Where Did We Find This Stuff? Here Are Our Sources:

“Reminder For ‘Stranger Things’ Fans: The Eighties Sucked,” by Jason Pargin. Cracked. July 18, 2019.

“Top Five Reasons the 80’s Sucked.” The Luxury Spot.

“Forget the Nostalgia; 7 Things About the 1980s That Sucked,” by Chris Lane. Houston Press. August 4, 2016.

“9 Reasons The ’80s Kind Of Sucked,” by Elizabeth Broadbent. Scary Mommy.

Advertisement