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Bizarre British Monarchy Facts That Sound Fake

Monarch - England's royal swans
England's royal swans. The New York Times

The Horrific End of an Unfortunate Monarch

Queen Isabella and Roger Mortimer. British Library

In 1326, Roger Mortimer and Queen Isabella invaded England. They executed the Despensers, and deposed Edward II. They replaced him with his fourteen-year-old son, who was crowned Edward III in January, 1327, with Mortimer as regent. That April, Mortimer heard of plots to rescue the deposed monarch, so had him relocated to a more secure site.

Reports of fresh plots to free Edward caused Mortimer to order him moved to various locations in the spring and summer of 1327. Eventually, the fear that one of the numerous plots might finally succeed led Mortimer to decide to end the problem once and for all. He would put Edward II beyond rescue by having him killed.

Monarch - A young King Edward III seizes Roger Mortimer in 1330
A young King Edward III seizes Roger Mortimer in 1330. The New Yorker

Edward’s killers did not want to leave marks of murder on the royal body. Contemptuous of the flighty monarch and his perceived effeminacy and homosexuality, they held him down and shoved a red hot poker up his rectum to burn his bowels from the inside. Another version has it that a tube was first inserted in his rectum, then a red hot metal bolt was dropped down the tube into his bowels. However he came to his end, Edward’s dying screams were reportedly heard for miles. Mortimer retained power as regent until 1330, when Edward III decided he was old enough to rule, seized Mortimer, and had him executed.

Written by

A lifelong history buff, I developed a particular passion for WW2 history as a child, when I spent hours listening to my grandfather, enraptured, as he recounted his wartime experiences in the British East African Campaign and with the British 8th Army in North Africa.

I graduated with a history BA from George Mason University, then went on to get a JD from the University of Virginia School of Law. After lawyering for a decade, I moved to sunny Rio de Janeiro and a less demanding career, opening a tourism agency in Copacabana.

A big chunk of my free time is spent blogging (you can follow me on Quora https://www.quora.com/profile/Khalid-Elhassan ) or freelance writing, mostly about my favorite subject, history.

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