The Patron Saint of Comedians Cracked Jokes While Getting Roasted
Saint Lawrence (225 – 258) was one of seven deacons appointed by the pope in Rome, entrusted with safeguarding church goods and properties, and placed in charge of distributing alms to the poor. The patron saint of comedians, cooks, and firefighters, he was martyred during a wave of Christian persecutions ordered by the Roman Emperor Valerian.
Lawrence was born in Valencia, in the Roman province of Hispania. As a young man, he travelled to Zaragoza, and there he met the future Pope Sixtus II, a famous and highly esteemed teacher in the third century Church. Sixtus became Lawrence’s mentor, and took him along when he left Hispania for Rome. In 257, Sixtus became Pope, and he appointed his young protege archdeacon, or first of the Church’s then seven deacons.
A persecution of Christians was ordered in 258 by Emperor Valerian, who issued a decree that all bishops, priests, and deacons, be put to death. When his mentor and patron, Pope Sixtus II, was arrested and condemned to death, a weeping Lawrence followed him to the execution site, crying: “father, where are you going without your deacon?” Sixtus reportedly replied: “I am not leaving you, my son – in three days you shall follow me“. While such an ominous prediction might have terrified others, Lawrence was cheered by the condemned man’s prophecy. He made a beeline for the Church’s coffers, and distributed their contents to the poor. He also began selling what Church assets he could in order to give even more to the needy.
When a Roman prefect heard what Lawrence was doing, he concluded that the Church must have a fortune stashed away, and so ordered Lawrence to bring him the Church’s treasure. Lawrence promised to do so in three days, then gathered Rome’s poor and sick, and returning with that destitute throng on the appointed day, informed the prefect that they were the Church’s treasure. Incensed, the prefect condemned Lawrence to a prolonged death, and ordered him secured to an iron grill and placed over a slow fire. Lawrence, burning with religious zeal even as he burned, seemed impervious to the pain, and even joked at some point “turn me over, I think I am done on this side” – explaining why he became the patron saint of comedians.
