The Nutty Lives of these American Leaders Were Anything But Ordinary

The Nutty Lives of these American Leaders Were Anything But Ordinary

Khalid Elhassan - August 25, 2022

The Nutty Lives of these American Leaders Were Anything But Ordinary
Teddy Roosevelt as a Badlands hunter in 1884. Wikimedia

2. Teddy Roosevelt, Rancher

Theodore Roosevelt was not just a rich East Coast dude who went out west to play cowboy. In the summer of 1884, he established the Elkhorn Ranch on the banks of the Little Missouri River in the Badlands, about 35 miles north of what is now Medora, North Dakota. He enthusiastically embraced his new occupation as a rancher, and set out to learn the ropes – literally – of the profession. He learned to ride, rope cattle, and hunt, and wrote three books about his experience. Later that year, he went on a days-long horseback ride to clear his head and take in the scenery, and eventually came across the Nolan Hotel in Mingusville, Montana.

The place looked like a seedy dive, and TR was reluctant to enter – especially after he heard a pair of gunshots coming from the bar. However, nightfall was near, and it and it was cold outside, so he went in. He saw a “shabby individual in a broad hat with a cocked gun in each hand was walking up and down the floor talking with strident profanity. He had evidently been shooting at the clock, which had two or three holes in its face“. As soon as he saw TR, who wore glasses, the bar bully hailed him as “Four Eyes”, and announced to all that “Four Eyes is going to treat!” The future president tried to play it off as a joke, but the lout followed him around. As seen below, it did not end well – for the lout.

The Nutty Lives of these American Leaders Were Anything But Ordinary
A bespectacled Teddy Roosevelt – he did not like to be called ‘Four Eyes’. Pinterest

1. Teddy Roosevelt, the Bar Brawler

Theodore Roosevelt described his encounter with an armed bully in a Montana bar: “As soon as he saw me he hailed me as ‘Four Eyes,’ in reference to my spectacles, and said, ‘Four Eyes is going to treat.’ I joined in the laugh and got behind the stove and sat down, thinking to escape notice. He followed me, however, and though I tried to pass it off as a jest this merely made him more offensive, and he stood leaning over me, a gun in each hand, using very foul language… In response to his reiterated command that I should set up the drinks, I said, ‘Well, if I’ve got to, I’ve got to,’ and rose, looking past him.

As I rose, I struck quick and hard with my right just to one side of the point of his jaw, hitting with my left as I straightened out, and then again with my right. He fired the guns, but I do not know whether this was merely a convulsive action of his hands, or whether he was trying to shoot at me. When he went down he struck the corner of the bar with his head… if he had moved I was about to drop on my knees; but he was senseless. I took away his guns, and the other people in the room, who were now loud in their denunciation of him, hustled him out and put him in the shed“. The next day, the humiliated loudmouth left town on a freight train.


Where Did We Find This Stuff? Some Sources and Further Reading

Anthony, Dave, and Reynolds, Gareth – The United States of Absurdity: Untold Stories From American History (2017)

Auto Blog – LBJ’s Amphibious Car Caught Friends and Dignitaries by Surprise

Brodie, Fawn McKay – Thomas Jefferson: An Intimate History (1974)

Business Insider, July 8th, 2014 – Ancient US Presidential Scandal Revealed

Cheat Sheet – Shocking Scandals of Former US Presidents

Cracked – 5 Nutty Moments From the Lives (and Deaths) of America’s First Leaders

Dallek, Robert – Lyndon B. Johnson: Portrait of a President (2004)

Dickinson College – Benjamin Rush, Race, Slavery, and Abolitionism

Dugatkin, Lee Alan – Mr. Jefferson and the Giant Moose: Natural History in Early America (2009)

Encyclopedia Britannica – Gouverneur Morris

Encyclopedia Britannica – John Jay, United States Statesman and Chief Justice

Gawker – LBJ Was Obsessed With His Dick

Gizmodo – Which President Greenlit a Trip to the Center of the Earth?

Grunge – US Presidents Who Were Really Weird People

Guardian, The, January 22nd, 2018 – Why Lyndon Johnson, a Truly Awful Man, is My Political Hero

Heavy – Jennifer Fitzgerald: 5 Fast Facts You Need to Know

History Collection – 10 Conspiracies Which are Far From Conspiracy Theories

IFL Science – John Quincy Adams Approved a Mission to Earth’s Interior to Meet the Mole People That Live Within

Kaplan, Fred – John Quincy Adams: American Visionary (2014)

Listverse – 10 Stories That Show the Weird Side of Thomas Jefferson

Los Angeles Times, August 13th, 2005 – When Justices Won’t Go

National Park Service – Lyndon B. Johnson Presidential Vehicles

National Public Radio – Thomas Jefferson Needs a Dead Moose Right Now to Defend America

New York Post, March 30th, 2019 – Barbara Bush Contemplated Suicide Over Husband’s Alleged Affair With Aide

New York Times, August 12th, 2015 – DNA is Said to Solve Mystery of Warren Harding’s Love Life

Radford, Marsha – Everything You Always Wanted to Know About America’s Presidents But Were Afraid to Ask (2007)

Rumpus, The, February 21st, 2011 – On This Presidents’ Day: A Brief History of Presidential S*x

Sandburg, Carl – Abraham Lincoln: The Prairie Years (1929)

Sandburg, Carl – Abraham Lincoln: The War Years (1939)

Smithsonian Magazine, June 17th, 2014 – The Gory New York City Riot That Shaped American Medicine

Swarthmore College, History 41 – Benjamin Franklin, Advice to a Young Man on the Choice of a Mistress

Time Magazine, July 7th, 2003 – Why He Was a Babe Magnet

Times, The, September 19th, 2004 – Mistress of Influence: Bush’s ‘Other Wife’

US House of Representatives, Judiciary Committee, Serial No. 112-84 – Executive Overreach: The President’s Unprecedented “Recess” Appointments